There are many instructions from higher sources offering advice to women seeking genuine romance and relationships. There are many men seeking women. However, the only real probability you have in finding genuine love is to find a man willing to give genuine love.
However pathetic, it is the overpowering condition of today's man to take as much as he can while giving as little as he has to...and until some forces stop him and begin to recondition him, he will continue to take and take.
Give a man power and he tends to abuse it. With the reckoning and empowering of today's woman, men cry out one message to this modern woman: "Don't abuse it!"
The truth is, men of quality will readily submit to the value of the female species. A large degree of their quality comes from their willingness to exalt the female and her intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and aesthetic contributions to life. These men have no problem considering Adam to be the rough draft by which God's masterpiece, Eve, was formed. Few men would care to exist without some form of female presence, considering the fact they wouldn't exist in the first place without the female!
Men of quality recognize, celebrate, and adore the power women have. Truth being, women have always had this power. Men of substance have always idolized their grandmothers, adored their mothers, revered their sisters, and embraced to the death the love for their daughters...all being women of "chance" in their lives. It is to the "woman of choice" that a man looks to find love, security, companionship, and all the positive attributes a genuine love coupling has to offer.
It is no secret that men are slow to give of themselves and apprehensive to make commitments. Men may seem slow and weary in involving themselves in romance and relationships, but what a quality man would tell you is he is being deliberate and assured. Once he makes the commitment you can count on his loyalty.
So, what is it that grabs and maintains his interest in a woman? What is it that makes a woman stand out above other women for romance and a relationship? Is it your attractive figure? That does keep his eyes open! Is it your sensitive intellect? That keeps him challenged. Is it your expressive eyes and compassionate heart? They do offer him emotional security. All of these things do represent the beauty of having a quality relationship with a woman and each of these things are worth breaking down walls to relinquish feelings that can be interchanged with a woman of quality in a genuine love relationship. However there is one element that a man must feel comfortable with before he can trust and relinquish. He has to "RESPECT" you!
Any man wants a woman of quality...any man. I have talked with alcoholic men who can't hold jobs, smelly men living on the streets, and incarcerated convicts. I have talked with respected ministers, sensitive physicians, and male dancers (Adonises whom all women would desire). All men want the same thing. Regardless of lifestyle, all men have common desires in their quest for genuine love. When it comes to a specific element that every man wants in a woman of choice, it is to be able to respect her. To a man, his woman of choice is an extension of his dignity and self-worth. His mate is as personal as his name, his career, his genitalia, and his pride.
While it is the ultimate responsibility of man to work on his own quality, it should not be taken lightly (in fact, it should be gratefully cherished) the effect, motivation, and inspiration women have on a man. Some women, as will some men, "poo-poo" the thoughts offered in this book. To these folks I would say "thank you, but you're probability not really interested in genuine love, anyway." A key essential in readying yourself to the respectability level to experience genuine love is "open-mindedness." Not by any stretch of the imagination am I saying that the thoughts presented in this book are absolute truth- this has no pretense of being the gospel. However, it does have the pretense of being what most men would say to their women of choice or to women in general. A person of substance is a person who uses his or her power of emotions to think through feelings and uses the power of thought to feel through emotions. To experience the ultimate, one has to be open-minded. In genuine love, as with anything genuine, one has to approach it with an open mind and an understanding heart. It is that spirit of open-mindedness that allows one to freely address and scrutinize the issues that can make one a genuine lover.
Once again, men are highly attracted to a woman's appearance and to her outward looks. But, there is a world full of good-looking women. For every man that is a "blond" lover, there are enough gorgeous brunettes to rattle his libido and keep him from ever singling out one women to be his genuine lover...and the idea that a woman can be so sweet that you can't help but love her is a myth. To most men there are far more sweet women in the world than good-looking women. Besides, a sweet girl can be as naive as a lamb and as ignorant as a doorknob, and you would never trust her with your heart.
This seems to make the male species look pretty short-sighted and lame-brained. But does it really? Could it be that a man of quality has risen above the mediocre attitude of just existing in life, taking whatever blows his way? Could it be that he has realized one of the truths of life- that nothing of value comes to you without paying a price? Could it be that a man of substance has looked into the mechanics of life and honed his engine in preparation for genuine love possibilities? While looks and niceness, among other things, are attractive female qualities, it is only when tempered with self-respect and self-dignity does a woman awaken that "cut-above" interest in a quality male.
Remember, a man will take what he can get and give as little as he has to. What he really wants when he thinks in terms of genuine, committed, monogamous love is to love and be loved. That is the ingredient that begets trust and intimacy in which two souls can melt together.
Love is a powerful drug that has forever stimulated man's creativity and his will to live. Love helps a man create focus and pin-point objectives. Few men have moved mountains because there are sweet girls on this earth and the power of lust only blurs the focus and creates double-minded males. So, if he's looking for a quality woman to share a genuine romance and relationship, he's looking patiently at a lot of things. Write it down, if you are to be the companion of quality with whom he can grow, his degree of respect for you will determine the degree of you experiencing genuine love satisfaction!
WHY THIS BOOK?
After my own marriage ended when I was in my twenties, I was forced to take a close look at myself and at my attitude towards romance, relationships, and marriage. I learned a lot about myself that I found disturbing, yet enlightening. As with any set-back, there is an opportunity for growth. The key is to really turn inward and explore the situation for it's positive potential. As I allowed myself to become more open with people and people became more open with me, I soon learned that my revelations of truth seemed to be the status-quo of the contemporary man's attitude toward romance and relationships.
Whether it is a circumstance of this time in history, a negative side of being raised in America's "can't touch this" society, or a naturally evolved posture of the mind and ego, one all-encompassing attitude exists among most men- "I will romance you, I will attempt to relate to you, I will even marry you, but I will do it all on "condition."
The modern woman, in her sincere search for passion and security, reserves little in expressing her desire to romance, relate, and wed. Whether it is a circumstance of this time in history, an expectation of family and society, or the promise of a blissful life of love impressed upon her mind by love songs, passionate cinema, and commercially motivated illustrations of romanticism, today's woman is direct and expedient in her objective. If not done with the attitude that she needs to actively educate and develop the total woman, she finds herself unhappily involved with a man too soon. She discovers that she is a woman not yet sure who she really is, involved with a man whom she hopes will lead her to understand herself.
Couple the "condition-loving" man with a woman who is in a hurray to pledge her love and you have enough ingredients to produce a mediocre relationship.
When it comes to matters of the heart, everyone seeks genuine love. No one knows exactly how to define it, but everyone seeks it. In the fast-paced, self-centeredness of today it is too easy to place the responsibility of defining love on another individual. When we do this we undoubtedly run into a sense of discontent with our relationships.
We men need to understand that if we are to experience genuine love we must love our partners unconditionally, or we must resolve that it is no less masculine (perhaps more so) to celebrate our singleness and grow as individuals.
Women need to understand that if they are to experience genuine love they need to maintain control over their hearts by commanding respect through an honorable lifestyle, or they must resolve that it is no less feminine (perhaps more so) to celebrate their singleness and grow as individuals.
Genuine love requires time and energy and a devoted interchange of feelings. Conditional love allows one to play at the relationship and still keep one's center of interest on one's self. Eventually, conditional love turns the relationship into trapped discontentment or into an inevitable split-up, leaving the participants feeling empty and grieving over the wasted years spent in a mediocre arrangement.
This book was physically written in a relatively short period of time compared to the amount of preparation that went into the understanding and development of each passage. It was only after I spoke intimately with hundreds of individuals (all ages, all colors, male and female) did I begin to see some form of what a man really wants in a relationship, if he is to give his heart away.
Perhaps it is the closeness I have treasured with female friends and my years spent in the teaching profession that prompted me to offer this look into what makes men function romantically. It is not an instruction book. Heaven knows it would be impossible to instruct someone on a topic so difficult to define as "love." But do consider it food for thought towards the nourishment of your own understanding of love. Consider it food for thought in the development of your own understanding of romance and relationships, served up by one self-appointed spokesman of men; one man seeking an honest understanding of his own personal quest for genuine love!
HOW TO READ THIS BOOK
This is a collection of 312 thoughts and opinions of men regarding what they expect of women, want from women, respect in women, and what they would honestly like women to understand about men.
Some of the thoughts are spiritualistic and idealistic in nature and perhaps make a woman sigh with approval; while some of the thoughts are earthy and seemingly sexist, and may cause the woman to be somewhat disgruntled. All thoughts, however, are honest; laying aside the manipulative, game-playing mindset that permeates the majority of today's unfruitful romances and conditional relationships. They are, in fact, meant to reveal what makes men tick in their attitudes and actions toward romance and relationships with women.
As you read these passages keep an open mind. Nothing of genuine value is accomplished with a closed-up attitude. Relate the thoughts to your own experiences and beliefs toward romance and relationships with men. Whether you agree or disagree, approve or disapprove, allow the thoughts to strengthen your understanding of yourself.
Be they male or female, it is only when one knows one's heart, understands one's true desires, and has security with one's sense of self, that one may feel fully prepared to set out on life's most exciting venture- The Quest For Genuine Love!
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